When Life Hits at 3 AM How Self Advocacy Protects Your Health and Your Wallet

When Life Hits at 3 AM How Self Advocacy Protects Your Health and Your Wallet

November 24, 2025

You don’t know just how much you don’t know about our healthcare system until you go through the scariest situation of your life.

It was 3:10ish am on Friday October 3rd when I awoke to a loud thumping sound, almost like someone had fallen. “Honey, are you okay?” I knew my husband regularly (as do I) gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and assumed he tripped as he did so on something in our work in progress master bedroom. I heard a loud angry grunt and from his overly angered response knew something was instantly wrong.

As I tiredly stumbled out of bed without contacts on I might add, I found my husband waddling around in the kitchen trying to reach for a glass to get water. I knew instantly something was very wrong. He looked like he was completely out of sorts. “Honey, are you not able to walk? Can you talk?” Those were some of the jumbled panicked words coming out of my mouth as I helped get him to the couch and quickly assessed the reality of the situation. “Can’t speak, legs tingling,” is what he mumbled back at me.

What ensued for the next 10 minutes was a blur. I remember getting up from the couch when I heard that, grabbing my phone and Googling symptoms and my heart dropped when the first thing I saw come up was “stroke.” After putting my contacts in, changing clothes and grabbing his clothes, I hurriedly explained to him that we needed to go to the hospital immediately.

Now, one thing I can tell you about my husband is he’s a very proud man who doesn’t like to ask for help. Once I said we were going to the hospital, I could feel his resistance and fear. He half haphazardly put his clothes on backwards (because he could barely move his legs) and as I helped him try to get in the car, I realized whatever he had was getting worse. We fell 3 times. He was opening the fridge for his cell phone and grabbing an Asian salad and had moved a bar stool over to the door as if that was his seat in the car. After falling together twice, I called 911. To be honest, as many of you probably already know, my husband and I are well aware that an ambulance is at least $1000 trip. As soon as I dialed, I now had two worries: first, his health and second, what this was all going to cost.

The ambulance arrived within 5 minutes and the next 60 minutes were a blur. I followed the ambulance to the hospital watching my husband’s condition closely through the glass doors. He looked like he had only a semblance of what was going on. Once we arrived at the hospital, within 20 minutes I was on a virtual telehealth consultation with a neurosurgeon who was going over his CAT scans.

Again, an alarm bell went off in my head. I knew we were just getting the party started on this hospital bill. An on call neurosurgeon couldn’t be cheap. The neurosurgeon quickly relayed to me that there was no signs of stroke initially with the CAT scans, but they agreed my husband was experiencing psychosis, brain frog, something WAS wrong.

New nurses came in to quickly administer some care and relief to my husband, and of course after about 35 minutes of being in the ER, an administrative individual came in to the room and asked me for a credit card. “10 percent off on the total bill if you put 300 dollars down now,” she said. To be honest, I didn’t even hesitate. Given all I do know about marketing, I wasn’t surprised at all to find that yes, I was indeed giving in to the offer of a discount and handing over my credit card immediately.

At about this point, I was still in shock. Andrew was not okay, and we still hadn’t figured out what was wrong. I knew we were spending at least 24 hours here in this hospital so 300 dollars was a drop in the bucket compared to what we’d spend and I HOPED that by handing it over EARLY and giving something right away, I’d have more negotiating power later.

About 8 hours into our stay, I realized that while I was certainly worried about my husband, I was also starting to worry about the financial impact of all of this on our family. Yes, we have great insurance and yes, we’re fortunate to both have abundant careers. But what did I not know that could hurt us later? Every time they gave him another test or another IV, how much was that costing us? And who was the lady who came in 30 minutes in and asked for my credit card like we were at McDonalds? I could feel the panic coming. If you understand the healthcare system in America, you know this feeling. It is designed to confuse you and unless you’re well versed in its mazes, you can end up feeling like you’re in the movie Labrinth. So I made the call to text Sally Figueroa, my client and also I can proudly say a friend.

Sally’s been through the ringer with the healthcare industry. That’s why she started this site: to help people figure it out quicker and to save money while doing it. As soon as I reached out, Sally gave me the right advice 8 hours into our stay and it 100 percent helped us advocate for ourselves. So I wanted to share it here:

Ask for an itemized bill as soon as someone returns and asks for more money. Sally explained that an itemized bill usually drops the price of a healthcare bill by 15 to 20 percent because often times there are duplicates or inaccuracies on the bill and asking for an itemized bill forces them to double check what they’re charging for. I did this about 16 hours into our stay and the billing person who was trying to get me to pay 6500 dollars told me she’d be back later because she’d have to go through the itemized bill. She was looking at her laptop as she told me this and I can tell you her demeanor changed when I asked for the itemized bill so I’m assuming there were mistakes. She never came back and now we’re working with the hospital’s billing department who said it’ll take another 14 business days to get it. This is good because it’s on THEM and giving us more time to pay.
Ask for the hospital’s financial assistance or charity care application and guidelines. She mentioned this is critical in case costs become unmanageable. While we didn’t qualify, it did open up the conversation with nurses about getting my husband discharged sooner rather than later once we were 100 percent sure he was okay. The hospital was trying to get us to stay another night and as soon as we knew we had answers and my husband was back to normal, we told doctors and nurses that we wanted to go home and not spend more money so our wishes were made clear.

Take notes and ask what they’re doing and why it’s needed. Be the patient advocate. When Sally mentioned this to me 8 hours into our stay, to be honest I had been so freaked out by what happened I wasn’t thinking about it before she said it. The moment she called attention to it, I aggressively advocated for my husband. The hospital tried to offer him physical therapy (which he didn’t need)) and wanted to give him a blood thinner (also wasn’t needed). This was easily 3000 dollars of costs that were avoided simply because I understood the assignment: advocate for what your loved one needs and what they don’t need. Be thoughtful, use AI (which I did), ask questions and you will save money.

Over the 48 hours of our stay, my husband continued to get care and undergo tests so doctors could diagnose what happened. He got worse before he got better but thankfully, he did get better and we now know that’s because he had a reaction to a new prescription medication he was taking. It turns out those big pharma commercials that mutter tons of terms like “could cause seizure, stroke, or even in some cases, death” as people waltz through sunflower fields aren’t as funny as you may think. Each person’s body reacts so differently to anything new you take and that’s exactly what happened to him.

The experience made both of us grateful for our health. In thoughtful reflection, I thought about those who do have chronic illnesses and how often they go to hospitals ALONE without anyone to advocate for them. Who speaks up for them when they’re in unimaginable pain? Who ensures they’re not being charged for something they don’t need?

Being your own advocate has never been more important for those with chronic illnesses. The difference between financial security and financial insecurity is tied to your ability to self advocate, understand the nuances of hospitals and at the end of the day, even negotiate. As my husband and I work through our final bill (around 14k), we’re already asking questions about what type of discount we can get (yes, there is one) if we pay XYZ amount that insurance doesn’t cover. We’ve had so many questions in this process and luckily, I’m working with an expert. But at the end of the day, a lot of people don’t have an expert at their fingertips to text.

That’s why we’ve built this site. It’s Sally’s passion to help people with chronic illness save money. And, her mission has extended past her now as she builds her team. I’m part of that team and it’s why I’m writing this article. I am grateful for the lessons learned so I can use this story to empower all of you to become aware about how you can save on healthcare while boldly and bravely managing your chronic illness.

The truth is, awareness grows when we share it. If this story helped you feel seen or inspired to take action, don’t keep it to yourself. Share the link to this post. Start a conversation. Be the reason someone else feels empowered to take control of their own care. Together, we can make healthcare a little more human and a lot more fair for everyone.

Reflecting back on Natalie’s experience

By Sally Figueroa

When Natalie texted me about her husband’s situation, it felt surreal because it was the exact scenario this website is built for. I told her what I learned through years of mistakes and hard lessons: ask for an itemized bill, request charity care, and compare every charge to what it should cost. It is not being difficult. It is being informed.

I learned these lessons because I had to fight for my own care. When I was trying to get diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I saw multiple specialists who dismissed my symptoms. My arms felt like they were being electrocuted every time I sneezed. I pushed for an MRI and that was what finally revealed the disc pressing on my spine. That experience taught me that no one will ever care about my health more than I do.

This mindset helped me years later when my autoimmune diseases flared so severely I could barely walk. Methotrexate, hydroxychloroquine, physical therapy, walking, rest, and persistence helped me get my life back. Even small things, like walking after meals to manage my diabetes, continue to make a difference. When I cannot walk outside, I do laps inside the mall with my senior friends. It is not glamorous. It is effective.

I did not start sharing my story to build an audience. I started because one mom messaged me late at night, overwhelmed after her child was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I remembered exactly how that fear feels. I told her what I wish someone had told me: ask about the honeymoon stage. That conversation reminded me why this work matters. Helping someone avoid the mistakes I made is everything.

If you take one thing from this story, let it be this: healthcare is a business, but your health is your power. You have rights. You have a voice. Use them.

Every small act of sharing creates a ripple. If this piece resonated with you, consider sending it to someone who might need the same hope today—or leave us a comment in the section below with your own saving story so thousands can benefit from it. No one should have to navigate the cost of illness alone.